Stepchildren And Blended Families – How to Make Them Work
When stepchildren have new stepbrothers or sisters there maybe feelings of resentment, competition or conflict. They may have these feelings towards the new stepdad or mother as well.
Give the Stepchild Time: In the beginning, these times can be tough for the new blended family. However, it is not the end of the world. These new stepchildren will be upset and confused but given time and understanding, the transition can happen. They need a safe, stable, and comfortable environment to grow their social and personal development.
Stepchildren Need to Learn How to Be Family: Stepchildren especially between 7 to 12 years old are still trying to wrap their hands around what a family is. At this age they are working on their own ways of dealing with problems and the two most important adults in their life, Mom and Dad, have just divorced. The stepchild has just been shown that these two adults couldn’t work it out and now that child’s faith is a bit shaken.
Stepchildren and New Family Adjustments: Though not every stepchild has an issue with their parents remarrying, many struggle with the confusion that it creates. Usually it is the parent’s choice to be with the new stepdad or stepmom and not the child’s. Since they have already experienced a loss of one parent through divorce, the stepchild now has to share their parent with a new stepparent. Along with that new stepparent will be new rules and preferences that a stepchild will often have difficulties adjusting to.
Stay Real with Your New Stepchildren: There is a tendency as a new stepdad or stepmom to get the stepchildren to like them. They may try to give gifts, rarely say no, or give out treats. This would be a big mistake. As a stepparent, you want to foster a real and lasting relationship with your stepchild. Instead, create a hoe with certain boundaries and rules that the stepchild will understand. You won’t create a lasting relationship without respect.
Stepchildren and Stepparents Can Both Be Unhappy: The all the pressures of creating a blended family, both stepchildren and stepparents can find themselves unhappy. Stepparents trying to please stepchildren can be torn about pleasing their own spouses. It’s important that as a blended family that all family members find balance or at least keep an open dialogue with each other.
Written by MikeBurnside
Creator and writer for Unravelingmysteries.com a lifestyles website.